forgotten pasts
by lizzie wars
Summary: He thought he had buried the past, he thought he would never have to look back...but when Gareki seems to be suffering from an unknown illness, he begins to realize that the past never truly stays buried. Now, he not only has to deal with unwanted memories, but also deal with a certain fretting man-child who just won't let sleeping dogs lie...
1. Chapter 1

Something was wrong with the boy but no-one had yet noticed, his face was much more pale than normal but his hair was still as jet black as the night, witch only amplified his now paler features, his new found skin tone seemed to make him seem more feminine then he really was, or even wanted to be. As he walked the corridors of the unnecessarily large ship, he staggered and struggled to stay on his feet, that now felt as though he were standing on stilts, or at least a pair of profoundly high high heels, this had been going on for a week now, he didn't want to cause an inconvenience to the ships crew since they had been extra busy with varuga popping up all over the place, he already knew he was a nuisance to them now so why make the situation worse with them having to busy themselves with yet more tedious trouble. he had kept it a secret even from Nai who could usually tell if something was wrong the instant someone walked in to a room, but he had not been able to identify a problem with Gareki, he had his amazing acting skills to thank for that.

He felt as though he was becoming invisible but he didn't mind that one bit it only meant not as many annoyances.

His condition had gotten worse and he didn't know how much longer he could hide it from the rest of the people on board, especially from a certain blonde haired man-child that especially liked to annoy Gareki any time he could. It was time for lunch but Gareki didn't feel up to the challenge of wrestling the food down his throat, but still he had to show up or the crew would think something was wrong. Gareki reached the table and sat down reluctantly, almost falling into his seat. the food was already laid out on the table in front of them but Gareki's stomach felt as though it was doing cartwheels inside of him, Nai sat next to him and dug into his food whilst Gareki sat there and watched the rest eat in utter disgust.

Yogi was sitting directly opposite Gareki, he noticed that Gareki had not yet touched his food whilst he himself was a quarter of the way through his meal, he looked Gareki in the eyes which at this point reverted their gaze from the dollop of meat and veg on the plate to the young man staring at him from across the table, he replied to his gaze with a "What?", yogi replied with "Well it's just that you haven't even touched your food"

"I'm just not hungry is all"

"Ok just make sure you eat something later, you need the energy for the rest of the day" replied Yogi with his usual bright and cheery expression which made Gareki feel like he was constantly faking it, after he had said that, Gareki did not reply. Even though Gareki's health was not normal his personality remained the same. His cold attitude towards him and only him, sometimes yogi thought that Gareki really did hate him.

Gareki decided to leave the table early, leaving his plate full. Nai had finished early and decided to follow him to his room.

Yogi and Tsuchumo left in the opposite direction to arrive at their own bedrooms. Yogi opened his mouth to say something but decided against it.

"just say it" said Tsuchumo in response to yogi's silenced words

"Did you notice?" asked yogi.

"Notice what?"

"Gareki, he didn't even touch his food"

"he said he wast hungry, didn't he?"

"well yeah, but... I don't know, he just wont open up to me"

"don't worry about it, he doesn't open up to anyone"

"I know, but, what if he's sick"

" he would tell us. wouldn't he?"

As Tsuchumo finished her sentence they heard the unmistakable sound of a sheep calling their names announcing an emergency.

Gareki and Nai were half way to their room when Garekis head took a literal turn for the worst. He could no longer hide it from the small boy as he swayed from side to side. Nai obviously worried for his well being grabbed him by the arm and tried to steady him.

"Gareki? Should I get help? Are you ok? What.." he was cut of when Gareki suddenly fell to the ground. The small boy could not keep him up so he made sure he was in a comfortable position and ran off to get help.

His head felt as though someone had kicked him repeatedly with steel toed boots, the pain was unimaginable, not to mention the nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He tried to concentrate of his foot work but ended up falling into Nai, now he was screwed, Nai was sure to get help now that he had fallen to the ground. But still he tried to get up. A failed attempt later he was back on the ground feeling even worse if that was possible. His whole body was shaking but at this point he didn't know if it was from shock or the incredible pain that was now flowing through his entire body.

The contents of his stomach (whatever was left over from the day before) was emptied the instant he attempted a second time to get up, at this point he had given up on getting back up and was falling into the dark world of unconsciousness. The next few moments seemed to go past in slow motion.

His entire weight falling to the side as someone managed to catch him before he made impact with the floor. The muffled voices of other people calling his name, he could not make out who it was, but then again he couldn't even see what was in front of him. He gave up on trying to stay awake and gave into the darkness that was slowly starting to cloud his mind, he let his mind go and fell into nothingness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is the second chapter for forgotten pasts.**

**Sorry it took me so long, but I'm in my first year of A levels so I get a lot of work, especially since I decided to do biology (OHH GOD WHY?) I will try and upload chapters more often, sorry if they are rather shite, they may be slightly rushed due to the immense amount of work we get in A levels ( I think A levels are like the equivalent to American high school, not sure, I'm English not American so I may be wrong :) )**

**I in no way own Karneval and probably never will, no matter how much I wish I did.**

**Warning of some altering of the actual manga so AU of course ( I know nothing of Gareki's past this is all made up from my head so I doubt there would be any spoilers).**

**I also need to thank everyone that reviewed it ….. ****ghost I-I'm not a-a-afraid****, ****UkeGarekiFan, ****KuroiSpade****, and 2 annonamous people.**

**Thank you to, ****Ichihara-Mina****, ****Kirei Ryuusei****, ****KuroiSpade****, ****MelRu****, ****bloodygoth23****, ****ghost I-I'm not a-a-afraid****, ****hawaia-kun****, ****kuroishuuha** **for faving the story :D**

**And of course thank you to ****BlackSilveDemonRose****, ****DarkTiger1991****, ****Ichihara-Mina****, ****KuroiSpade****, ****MelRu****, ****StoneLily****, ****Usagi-Sherlock112****, ****bloodygoth23****, ****ghost I-I'm not a-a-afraid****, ****hawaia-kun****, ****randomgirl07** **for following my story, i did'nt think anyone was actually going to read it :)**

**And a special thanks to ****kuroishuuha****, good luck with your exam :D i'm sure you did great, if not then here is the second chapter :D yeey.**

The sound of the sheep grew louder as it came closer to the two. A short distance behind the sheep was a very anxious looking Nai, his face was a portrait full of emotions, mainly fear etched into his features. His eyes were filled to the brim with tears and his usual smile was now a sorrow filled frown.

"YOGI, TSUKUMO ..." was all that little Nai could muster up and say before the tears began to cascade down his face.

"baa Gareki has fallen ill baa emergency baa" announced the sheep in its usual monotone robotic voice.

Yogi did not waste a single moment before running to where Gareki was. With his speed it only took him a second to reach the half conscious boy. As he got closer he noticed his body falling to one side. He sped up to catch the falling boy before he could come in contact with the cold hard ground, as Yogi grabbed the boy he caught a glimpse of his expression before he lost consciousness. It was that of discomfort and pain. The blonde checked to see if he was fully unconscious before laying him slowly and softly to the ground, he took special care in making sure that his head was in a comfortable enough position to ease him at least a little of the pain he may be feeling.

Yogi's eyes scanned the area to see if Hirato was making his way to the scene. As he did so his eyes wandered to the pool of sick that had come from the teen. He could not help but notice the large blobs of blood among the remains of his breakfast.

Yogi felt repulsed by the fact that he hadn't detected a problem with the teen until it had escalated to where it was now.

Surely he was capable enough of looking after his friends health at least, _or was he_, he thought to himself, maybe he was not worthy of looking after them maybe they were better off with staying with the 1st ships crew.

Doubts started to cloud Yogi's mind as he pondered whether he were truly worthy of such responsibility, until he was snapped back to reality, to the current situation by the sound of Hirato's footsteps coming closer to where they were situated.

"what happened to him?" Hirato asked in a rather dull manner but still with a hint of concern.

Everyone turned to Nai to explain what had happened on there journey to their rooms.

"well.. erm.. we were walking and... uh Gareki was s-shaking and uhh kind of moving from side to side.. then umm it looked like h he was in p-pain and he held his head and started shouting"

to say that Yogi was discomforted by this news was an understatement, he felt a mixture of fear, anger and worry for his friend that was currently unconscious and lying on the ground. He was snapped out of his train of thoughts as Hirato bent down and placed a hand to the top of Gareki's head.

"he's burning up, get him to the medical bay" Yogi did as he was instructed and wasted no time in hoisting the surprisingly light figure that hung loosely in his arms, he looked like a rag do that had been tossed aside and found by a kind hearted person. He lay unmoving in his grip, it was rather unsettling seeing how still he was, usually if Yogi got this close to him, he would be pushing him away telling him to go play with Nai or something.

As they made their way to the medical bay, Yogi noticed Nai trailing behind. He couldn't stop to ask what was the matter due to the fact that he was still carrying an unconscious Gareki.

The walk there was excruciatingly slow to Yogi as they reached the doors to where the doctor was, they slowly opened the doors to reveal the doctor reading through some files.

"Hey doctor, take a look at Gareki he seems to have a fever or something"

"You know Hirato you should be more respectful to those that take care of you when you're sick" said the doctor as he made his way to where Yogi was standing, still holding the unconscious Gareki.

"Hmm, lay him down and i'll take a proper look at him" Yogi did as he was told but was reluctant to let go of the figure in his arms, as he moved away the doctor got out his thermometer and stethoscope.

"Hmm, his breathing seems rather fast and unequal, heart rate also seems faster than it should, lets see what his temp... hmm take him to Akari" the doctor ordered with a hint of urgency in his voice.

"What, why, what's wrong with him, how high is his temperature?" Yogi started to panic at the doctors sudden change in demeanour.

"Yes, i'd like to know this as well, is there something wrong with him?" asked a surprised Hirato.

"It's just that with a temperature this high he shouldn't..." he began before glancing at a very distressed Nai sitting in the corner of the room forgotten by the other two "..be.. with us, if you know what i mean"

Thankfully Nai didn't follow what he meant, but the other two, even Hirato had shocked expressions plastered onto their faces.

"Wait, if it's that bad then why is he still 'with us'?" asked a rather shocked Hirato, sure he acted like he didn't care but that didn't mean that actually didn't.

"That's what i would want to know to, but unfortunately i don't have the equipment here to find out, so quickly, take him to Akari...GO, what are you waiting for?" Yogi was snapped out of his shock induced trance and sprang into action, picking the unconscious boy back up again and leaving the room and headed to the shops.

"Nai i need you to go find Tsukumo and tell her where we are going, ok? You think you can do that? for Gareki" Hirato instructed the nervous Nai as he got up from where you had placed himself.

"Yes, i can do that. Is Gareki going to be okay?" but Nai did not receive an answer as Hirato stood straight and ran to where Yogi was headed.

~~~~~~~~~Gareki~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile the inside of Gareki's head was a mess of mixed up dreams, were they dreams? they felt too real to be dreams, different faces popped up at random times, different scenes and situations, confusion set in and he didn't know what to do, so he did the obvious, he covered his eyes and shouted. He shouted as loud as he could, what he was shouting for, not even he knew. Help? maybe, but from who. There was no one there.

Come to think of it, where was he?

Slowly he opened his eyes, but all that he could see was darkness, he could see no floor, no walls, no ceiling or sky, just darkness. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared, too scared to make a sound now. The questions still stood strong in his mind.

"Where the hell am I ?"

"**Home"**

Gareki almost let out a startled gasp but stopped himself from making any further sounds as to not attract the mystery voice that seemed to come from nowhere.

"**Long time no see"**

He couldn't help but be nosy and ask "Who's there? where am I and what the fuck is going on?" the last thing he remembered was walking back to his and Nai's shared room before everything went black.

"**Aww, you don't remember me, that's a shame, i'll just have to remind you" **the voice said in an almost whisper.

"What're you talking abo...AAARRRGGGHHH" he couldn't help the scream of pain that escaped his lips as a sharp burning pain erupted in his head, images began to appear at such a rapid pace that he could not even make out what they were, but as suddenly as they had appeared they also disappeared, and the dark room he had been in had turned into a blinding white room. He let his eyes adjust to the change in brightness, and soon enough he could make out a blurred figure in the distance. Making his way towards the figure he began to make out the figures features, but soon he had to stop himself from coming any closer to them as he recognised the person that now stood in front of him.

Not being able to say anything he just stood there with his mouth slightly agape.

"**Look familiar?" **the person said as the brought their hand to his face and cupped his cheek.

Gareki was completely immobile, he couldn't bring himself to move a muscle in the presence of this person.

Finally he was able to utter a few words "You, you're...no..

**TOO BE CONTINUED... in the next chapter**

**You know, the more reviews and PM's that i get, the more motivated i will be to bring out the next chapter, you can even throw ideas at me and i may put them in story ;) **

**please review and tell me what you think, want or don't like, i will take it into consideration, and THANK YOU FOR READING, **

**NEXT CHAPTER - i will try and get it out before Friday (i seem to have been motivated to do this again) so yeah im on study leave at the moment, so screw biology revision, i'll work on this ;D all for you.**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 :D **

**Slightly later than friday like i said, at least its up, anyway, thank you to all those who read the story and reviewed it **noctisluxys,Bitterness1, ghost I-I'm not a-a-afraid,KuroiSpade, douxmaria and SailorSilvanesti **:****D **

**And the people who either favorited it or now follow the story :D **Lola Royal, noctisluxys**, **YaoiReaderGalor, Bitterness1, ghost I-I'm not a-a-afraid, Kirei Ryuusei, kuroishuuha, MahegaGame, Chibi Sasori,friesianone, WinterRaineeDay91, SailorSilvanesti, **and** Hibari Mayumi **the more support i get the motivated i am so the faster the chapters will come out :P**

**I do not own Karneval (damn) and never will, i know shit all about Gareki's past (for now (; ) **

**Sorry for the wait, i've gotten pretty addicted to watching supersize vs superskinny :P**

**ENJOY**

"AAARRRGGGHHH!" the small ship was filled with the agonising screams of the young boy, currently laying unconscious in Yogi's lap.

"HIRATO, hurry, i don't know what's wrong with him, I don't know what to do!" Yogi shouted to Hirato to make the small vessel fly faster to where they were headed.

"Just keep him comfortable, we will be there within five minutes, there's not much that i can do at this moment"

"How am i meant to do that when he's seems to be in so much pain already !?"

"Preparing for landing, once this ship lands i want you to carry him down to where Akari is immediately, he has been informed of the situation already from the doctor so he will be ready to give him a full examination to determine just what is going on with Gareki, got it?" as Hirato was tell Yogi what to do, Gareki's screams of what seemed like agony subsided and now only small moans and grunts of discomfort escaped his lips.

"I think he's calmed down" Yogi said as he ran his hand through the teens sweat covered bangs.

"We're here, quickly take him to Akari"

"Got it, i'm going now then"

As he ran through the many corridors leading to where Akari was waiting for them. Nurses gave them shocked and frustrated looks as Yogi pushed passed them as fast as he could go.

Upon opening the doors to where Akari was, Yogi was met by a frantic Akari clearing a table for Gareki to be placed on for examination.

"Place him on here, and i'll check his vitals first"

Yogi did as he was told without hesitation. With haste Akari started checking his breathing, blood pressure, heart rate, took his temperature and a blood sample. Yogi watched Akari work not understanding what was going on, he became worried when he saw the look of confusion plastered on his face.

"What's wrong with him?"

"Yogi, tell me what was wrong with him back on the ship"

"He fainted in the hall, didn't have an appetite, his temperature was apparently really high, too high for him to be alive is what they said"

"Yes thats everything that Hirato told me too"

"What's wrong with him, do you know?"

"Well the thing is, everything is normal, his temperature is normal as is his heart rate. I cannot see anything wrong with him at the moment, we need to wait for the results to come back from the blood sample i just sent off"

"But, but he started screaming on the way here, like he was in pain, not to mention that he is drenched in his own sweat" Yogi exclaimed, now he was really confused and worried about what was going on with Gareki.

"Well we just have to wait and see what the test resu..." Akari was cut off by the sudden movement coming from the unconscious boy.

"I think he's waking up"

Yogi was quickly by his side waiting to see if he would open his eyes "Gareki? come on Gareki if you can hear me then please open your eyes" he pleaded with him.

Slowly but surely Gareki started regaining consciousness, Yogi and Akari stared at his eyes to see them opening, but they did not like what they saw, his eyes, they were … different.

"Gareki?" yogi hesitated to speak but did nonetheless.

No words came from said boy, instead he proceeded to stare at the two mesmerized faces staring back down at him. At one point Akari could have sworn that he was glaring at them. The staring contest carried on for what felt like hours but in fact had only been about 20 seconds before it seemed as though Garekis head hurt him as he reached to rub his temples with closed eye, upon reopening them, they had reverted back to normal.

"What's going on? where am I?" Gareki seemed confused about what was going on, he remembered walking to his room and nothing beyond that point, he looked from one stunned face to another looking for an answer to his question.

"Gareki?"

"Yes, that is my name, now tell me what's going on?!" well that confirmed that he was back to normal.

~~~~~Gareki~~~~~

~!~what was going on inside of his head~!~

"You're, no, you can't be... I mean, you're me?!" Gareki was very confused now, standing in front of him was another Gareki, they were identical apart from one thing, their eyes. Garekis normal grey eyes stared into the pitch black eyes of his mirror image, his eyes looked as though his pupils occupied all of his eye, no white, no colour at all, just black.

**sorry about the extremely short chapter but i wanted to post this before i go to the party since after that i'm off to London to see MUSE! :D i will do the next chapter as soon as i get home on tuesday :D **

**Remember the more reviews thew more i feel compelled to update ;D**


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